


No

by supernaturaloneshots



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, But hasn't said anything, F/M, Hinted Destiel - Freeform, Not Beta Read, Post-Episode: s12e23 All Along the Watchtower, Reader has feelings for Cas, Season 12 finale, Season/Series 12 Spoilers, So much angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-07-16
Packaged: 2019-06-11 10:33:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15313599
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supernaturaloneshots/pseuds/supernaturaloneshots
Summary: Set during 12X23. The reader has always had feelings for Castiel but time runs out before anything can be said.





	No

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy an angsty fic I wrote last year after the season 12 finale.

No. This can’t be happening. This cannot be happening right now. Just a thirty seconds ago everything began to look up. Lucifer was trapped in that weird Mad-Max style alternate universe or dimension or some shit like that. Then, Cas came back and you felt over the moon. He was back and Lucifer was gone. For a split second, you thought everything was going to be fine. Cas was back, Cas was fine. Cas was alive. But then your world came crashing down in front of you.

He appeared and it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. You were about to walk towards him and hug and tell him it’s okay. Tell him you didn’t care that he ran off with Kelly. Tell him you forgive him for every stupid thing he ever did. To finally tell him you love him. You just needed to be near him and tell him.

You barely lifted your foot off the ground when Lucifer appeared and it felt as if everything had stopped. ‘NO!’ you bellowed, your voice chalked with emotion. But almost as soon as he appeared, Cas was glowing and falling to the ground. Ignoring Lucifer completely, you fell to your knees at Castiel’s side and began yelling.

‘NO! NO! BRING HIM BACK! BRING HIM BACK RIGHT NOW! HE ISN’T DEAD! NO!’

You began to hit Cas’s chest repeatedly, hoping that somehow, he would open his eyes and everything was a joke. This has to be a joke. He isn’t dead. He can’t be. No.

‘Castiel wake up! Get. Up. Please.’ Each sentence I pummel at his lifeless body is punctuated with sobs that rack my entire body. The pain is unbearable. He has to wake up.

‘Castiel, don’t you dare. Don’t you dare die on me. You better wake the hell up so I can kick your angel ass for not coming back with us like a fucking idiot. C’mon, wake up. Please wake up. Please.’

Then, Lucifer began chuckling and took a couple of steps towards to where you were weeping. He was close enough to hurt you but, at this point, you didn’t care.

‘Aw. Little Y/N’s all upset she lost her angel. C’mon, you didn’t think I’d let him live, did you?’ He paused for a second, then let out a loud scoff. ‘He was too expendable! He was all heart! He was useless!’

‘No. You do not get to say that. He is anything but useless! He helped save the goddamn world when you tore it down and started the apocalypse! He stopped at nothing to get you back in the cage and if it wasn’t for that selfish bastard Crowley you would be rotting in the cage right now! Castiel is a hero. But you, you are not. You are nothing like him. You’re a selfish prick and you have nothing better to do than making people’s lives a living hell. You should know a little something about being ‘useless’ and ‘expendable’!’ You shouted at him, your voice still hoarse from your shouting and crying as you quoted him.

Silence. Not even crickets sounded throughout the garden. The shocked look that Lucifer was trying to conceal caused a small amount of pride to seep into the sorrow that felt like tar that was sticking to the inside of your chest. You stared him up and down and stood up, almost as if you were ready to fight him, and you were about to throw a right hook directly at him when you felt Sam’s hand on your shoulder, turning you around and giving you a sympathetic look. Dean was beside him, eyes blank and filled with pain as he stared at his best friend, lying dead on the grass earth.

Then, you heard a menacing snicker from behind you. Once again, your grief was replaced with red-hot burning rage. Lucifer. You were going to kill him! You were going to rip that stupid fucking grin off his face. You were going to tear him apart, limb from limb until he was begging you to stop. You torture him until he’s begging to swap places with Cas. He is going to regret everything he just did. 

You spun around, intending to show him every single idea you had on how to torment him when you heard the voice of Mary Winchester behind you.

‘’Get away from them.’’

She pushed passed you and the boys, clenching her fists behind her back. She ignored Sam’s protests and Lucifer’s running commentary walked straight up to Lucifer. She began punching, surprisingly knocking him back on his feet. Mary’s punches got harder and more confident, leading him to the portal. Lucifer lost his balance and started to fall back into the portal, grabbing Mary’s arm and pulling her in with him.

All of you gasped, the shock hits you like a bucket of ice water over your head.

‘Mom!’ Sam cried the disbelief and aching evident in her voice.

You began to break down again, sobs leaving your body shaking and making your throat and chest ache. You fell into a pair of arms, most likely Sam’s, seeing as Dean was still in shock from seeing his best friend of eight years die. He rubbed his hand on your back in comfort

Sam turned his head to see the blinding light flickering from the room where Kelly was in labour. He hugged you closer, whispering in your ear, telling you that he had to check it out and make sure everything was okay. You simply nodded, let him go and moved to hug Dean’s side. He ran into the house, leaving you and Dean alone in the backyard. So much way going on but all both of you cared about was Castiel’s lifeless corpse and whether he was coming back or not.

You turned to Dean, and him to you, both you collapse to your knees, eyes falling painfully onto Cas as he lay on the ground. You broke down, sobs wracking through you as you placed your head onto Cas’s chest, tears staining his white shirt and his tie. Dean raised to the sky, his eyes turning glassy as laboured breaths left his mouth. Though neither of you was religious, you both prayed silent prayers that something or someone would fix this. That something would happen and Cas would be back and everything would be fine.


End file.
